When is this going to seem really “real”?
pamelamyers | May 20, 2009
So often, as now, I am sitting here trying to concentrate on something, anything, work, tv, my book, etc. and Sam starts kicking away. It’s like she’s trying to remind me that she exists, and to stop working so hard on whatever else it is that I am doing and pay attention to her. I have to admit, sometimes it is easy to forget she is there, despite my growing middle. I think I still have a hard time believing that she DOES exist, because Mark and I fought so long to get where we are today. I do feel like I am dreaming, sometimes….
But it is good that Sam reminds me she is there, because every time I feel her move, I am reminded of just how incredibly lucky we are. I never thought I’d be here, and I know Mark didn’t think we would be either. Knowing that someday we will have a child that we can look at and see our faces, and the faces of the family that we love, seemed a dream that would never come true. But here we are.
So Sam, keep on kicking, and twirling, and spinning, and anything else you want to do in there! Keep reminding me of how incredibly, remarkably privileged I am to be able to carry you around, and to be your mom. Because sometimes I do forget, even if it’s for a minute. Other things become priorities, stupid things, like work and chores, and that just won’t do.