Meeting Sophia
pamelamyers | March 5, 2013
My oldest friend’s name is Lisa. I don’t mention her because, sadly, we sort of grew apart a long, long time ago. We never had a falling out, but at some point in our 20s, for reasons I won’t bother to go into here, we followed separate paths and sort of just stopped being friends. This saddens me more than I can say because there was a long time in my life when Lisa was the person I felt closest to. She was my confidante, my very best friend, and to have that person no longer be a part of your life, well…it’s hard. We have managed to connect at times over the years — when I got married, when she got married, and when the biggest, most monumental things happened — when we had children. We shared so much over the course of our friendship, and sadly, we also shared a similar heartache — infertility. I wish we could have still actively been friends during that long, painful time, but we were not. It would have been so much easier to bear if I could have cried on my best friend’s shoulder. Happily, Lisa recently had her first child, a gorgeous girl named Sophia, and I finally got to meet her. My mom, Sam,and I had lunch with Lisa, Sophia, and Lisa’s mom, Tina and we just had the most wonderful time. It was a reunion that was too long in coming.
Little Sophia is 3 months old now and Sam was so incredibly fascinated by her since she has never seen a baby up close before. I loved watching Sam touch Sophia’s tiny little hands and feet, stroke her head, and touch her cheek. Sam was so incredibly gentle and loving. She had a small, curious smile the whole time. I know that Sam understood how delicate the baby was and that she had to be her most careful self. She made me so proud. Sam’s best moment was when Lisa let her feed Sophia. Is this not the cutest thing you have ever seen?
So many times I have said, of course, we will get together again, no, we will not let so much time go by, and yet, we do not, and time does. But I need to do better. Not only for the sake of my long-neglected friendship with my dear friend, but for my daughter. To teach her that people matter. That friends matter. That you can’t let things get in the way of the most important part of life — making connections with people. That there is nothing more important. I want my daughter to have not necessarily an army of friends, but rather, a choice few. Those few people that she knows she can count on. Those people she can always turn to, who understand her, who support her, who will call her out when she is being stupid or making bad choices. Being an only child, she will need to rely on friends. And I hope she chooses wisely, and never lets go. That was my mistake, one that I hope she is not destined to repeat.