Samantha's first blog

pamelamyers | February 25, 2014

This is probably the hardest post I’ve ever had to write. And frankly, I hope, the last one which conveys any sadness on this blog for a long time. One week ago today, we lost someone much too soon. Mark’s mom, Sandi, passed away very unexpectedly. She had been sick, but none of us anticipated losing her this soon. There were so many years we all deserved to spend together. How we are all going to go on without this amazing person — mother, grandmother, wife — we really don’t know.

Sam still has a hard time understanding when someone dies, what it really means, and why she can’t see them anymore. She will miss her Mom Mom so much. I keep thinking about all the things I wanted Sandi to do with Sam, all the things I wanted Sam to learn from her, and when I realize that won’t happen, it is devastatingly hard to fathom. I am so grateful that Sam is at an age where she can remember all the fun things they did together like making raviolis, trips to the shore, family dinners, and of course, Christmas. Sandi loved Christmas and spent so much time and effort making sure every child got the perfect thing. Family was so important to her and it showed in the way she was with all of us.

I still remember all that difficult time when Mark and I were trying to conceive. We were starting to think it was never going to happen. Sandi was almost as sad as we were. It pained her so much that we couldn’t seem to have children. Then, when Sam arrived, it put a smile on Sandi’s face that never left when she looked at her grandchildren.  Sandi used to love telling all her friends about this blog, because she was so proud and so excited about Sam. Sam’s Mom Mom loved her so much.

There is so much to say about Sandi Myers, I don’t even know where to begin. But, as I have said in other, sad posts, this is Sam’s blog, and it is about how this moment, this event, affects her. I know that if Sam could type this herself, she would tell you that she loves her Mom Mom with all her heart. That she loved how Sandi would sit on the floor and play with her. That she misses talking to her, and hugging her, and hearing her voice. And that she will always remember the wonderful woman her Mom Mom was. I hope these pictures convey, even a little bit, the special bond these two wonderful people in our life had. Sandi, Mom Mom, Mom — we will never forget you.

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pamelamyers | February 13, 2014

More snow!  Yup.  Again.  How this is not the snowiest winter on record, I have no idea. It is close though. I think we are maybe at third snowiest? I am losing track. The best you can do under the (frustrating) circumstances is to make the best of it. And Sam and Mark sure have. They have been sledding so many times, out playing, making snowmen, throwing snowballs, and now, in Sam’s opinion, Daddy’s best idea yet — a snow fort! Mark was running out of room to throw the snow we keep shoveling so he made her this gigantic pile and dug a tunnel in the middle. Sam was so excited.  I wasn’t sure if she’d go through, but she did! Mark is a great dad, full of fun and exciting things for Sam to do. She is a lucky girl.

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pamelamyers | February 3, 2014

Sam and Maddox were being good kiddos recently and let Mark take some cute pictures of them. They look so darn adorable together, it is hard to resist! Look at those adorable faces.

Sam also had her own little photo session before Maddox arrived. She wanted to wear her pretty dress and so Mark thought it was the perfect time to take some new portraits.

Her beloved Boo Boo needed to be in the pictures too. It is so cute how she still loves her so much, even after all this time.

She has had Boo Boo since she was a baby, and although she loves all her stuffed animals, Boo Boo is her “go to” friend when she really needs a cuddle.

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pamelamyers | February 2, 2014

We had a parent-teacher conference at Sam’s school the other day. It was really the first official conversation we have had with her school about how she is doing. In November, they sent home a progress report, but since Sam was doing pretty well, there was no need for a conference. In late January though, since the school  needs to discuss placement for next year (a lot of kids are moving on to Kindergarten, making it more important for them), the parents actually have a scheduled time with the teachers. We met with Mrs. McCann to discuss how Sam is doing. In sum, she is doing great! She has made improvements in areas where she needed to (including putting on and zippering her own coat, speaking up in public, and learning to recognize her printed name). She still has some areas to improve on like learning to recognize all the letters and writing her name, but Mrs. McCann said she is pretty much right where she needs to be. She is young for her class being born late in September. A lot of the kids in her class are 6 months or more older than her. This is why we are glad she will be going to Saint Matt’s again next year for the five day program. She needs extra time to be ready for Kindergarten. She doesn’t make the cutoff anyway, so it doesn’t really matter, we couldn’t send her to Kindergarten even if we wanted to. We discussed how Sam has been having playdates with Julia and how it really has helped her open up, having a real friend in the class. Mrs. McCann said she noticed the difference.

We were able to successfully move Sam into the day program next year which will be better for her, I think. She is definitely a morning person and concentrates better earlier in the day. It is hard to believe – only one more year then she is in Kindergarten. How is that possible? Then FIRST GRADE.  ACTUAL SCHOOL.  This is not happening, time is not going by this fast, is it?

We are so proud of Sam and how she has truly blossomed at school. I was so worried about how she would adjust but she is doing so well. She loves school and playing with her friends. I can see how she has changed, matured, in the time she has been there. My only worry about next year is that she will have to make mostly all new friends again in her class. I think a few kids will still be at St. Matt’s, but not a lot. And they may be in the afternoon program. But, I guess she will make that adjustment many times as she goes on in school. Her schools in Springfield have multiple classes for each grade, not like when I was in my tiny little Catholic grade school. She will be ok. And her friend Julia will still be in St. Matt’s with her, although I don’t know if the same class. But it will make it easier for Sam that they are doing the same things.

Before I know it, she will be reading and doing math and all of those things that little kids do. I don’t know if I can handle it!

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pamelamyers | February 2, 2014

It occurred to me recently how few “baby” things we have around anymore. Or even toddler things, for that matter. Not that Sam is a baby, so this shouldn’t surprise me. But it still does. Little by little, all the things that are for babies or toddlers have disappeared. Sam stopped wearing training pants at night a little while ago. She really hasn’t needed them for months as they have been dry every morning, but she wanted to wear them, so I didn’t want to argue. But I decided there was no need to spend money on things we don’t need, so I told her we weren’t using them anymore and she didn’t care. Then, over Christmas, she told me she didn’t need her little potty anymore because she could use the big potty, so away that went too. And just about a week ago, I took her bed rail off her bed. I don’t worry about her falling out of bed anymore, and frankly, when she saw me taking it down, she told me she wouldn’t. The cups with lids are really our last concession to toddlerdom, and those can’t go since she doesn’t pay attention enough to not spill every drink. But otherwise, she is such a big girl now. She gets dressed mostly by herself, she can do zippers and she just mastered buttons. She helps me clean up, set the table, and feed Zephyr. We hung a hook by the door and she hangs up her coat, and her tote bag from school. It is really nice having her be more independent now since it means less for us to do for her and more she can do for us, but at the same time, it is a little sad. I will never have a helpless little baby again. A few times, Sam asked me if I wished she could be a baby again, but just for a little while, then she could go back to being a big girl. Yes, Sam. I do.

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