What would you be?

| February 15, 2016

Last night at bedtime, Samantha and I had just finished reading her books, and she was curled up facing the wall like she always does when she is ready to go to sleep when she asked me, “If you were not a mom, what you would do?” I asked her what she meant and she said she wanted to know what would I do, as in, how would I spend my time. I responded, “Do you think all I do is be your mom? I have a job, I do other things.” Sam kept pushing and she said she knows I go to work, but what would I do? I guess she meant with all my free time that I wouldn’t be spending taking care of her. So, I told her I’d probably travel a lot, read a lot of books, volunteer with the animals, a lot of things. It’s funny, once upon a time, Mark and I discussed that we may have to resign ourselves to being childless and we tried to console ourselves with thoughts that we would have so much time to do all of those things. I don’t know. I may not know for sure what I would do if I was not a mom, but I know for a fact what I would be. Lonely. Samantha tries our nerves, eats up a lot of our free time, and money, but I would miss her beyond reason if she was not here. She brings us enough joy to override all of those other things. I hope she knows that. That being her mom is the best job in the world.