Samantha's first blog

Posted By pamelamyers on August 18, 2011

And no, I am not talking about the unbelievable amount of rain we have been getting lately! I am talking about the terrible time we have been having in getting Sam to sleep. I think I mentioned before that Sam suddenly entered a phase where she just absolutely refused to go to sleep, for naps or bedtime, without someone staying in the room with her until she fell asleep. It was so bizarre because she was such a great sleeper. I mean, she didn’t nap very well for at least the first year of her life, but for a good 6 or more months at least, she has been taking a regular nap, actually asking for “night night” and she has always been a champ at bedtime. Putting Sam in her crib has always been a pleasure. I would do her regular routine of milk, sleepsack, books, songs, kisses and hugs, then right into her crib and she’d go in quietly, grab her stuffed animals and curl up in her usual corner and go to sleep. But something switched and we have no idea why. Overnight she went from that pleasurable routine to crying and screaming until someone came in to be with her. A few times we decided to let her cry and one night she cried for almost 2 hours. We quickly gave up on that and either me or Mark would invariably go in to comfort her and stay with her until she fell asleep. It was bad enough getting her to fall asleep, that I could almost deal with. But the bigger problem was that she would wake up in the middle of the night, sometimes more than once, and cry until someone came in to be with her. Mark and I spent way too many night lying on Sam’s floor at some ungodly hour of the night waiting for her to nod off again. It was getting old fast. We tried so many things and nothing seemed to work.

My mom was having the same problem with her. She was refusing to even go into her crib and my mom’s house and spent quite a few naps in the full size bed that is in the room with her crib. My mom would have to lay down on the bed with Sam, wait for her to fall asleep, then sneak out of the room. Oh, yeah, that was the other fun part. After Sam would fall asleep, we would have to sneak out lest she wake up and see us leaving. I don’t know how many times I literally crawled out of her room on my hands and knees hoping she didn’t see or hear me. Down the shore, she even refused to be in the crib we rented and she spent every night, and almost every nap, sleeping in my mom’s bed. I asked everyone I knew with kids for advice and believe me, took every single suggestion to heart. We tried blankets, night lights, you name it. Mark tried putting her to bed at night since it’s usually my job, just to jar her routine and that helped some, but she still cried. Nothing seemed to help very much or for very long.

We got home from the shore and after a few more horrible nights of same old, same old thing, Mark and I decided Sam was pushing her limits, seeing how much she could get away with, and it had to stop. Mark noticed she has been pushing us a lot in every aspect, not just sleep, so it was probably just a phase she was going through, and a normal 2 year old one at that. But still, that didn’t mean she had to get her way. So, we decided one night that enough was enough and Sam was going to have to cry it out. If she cried, we would go check on her to make sure she was truly ok, then we would leave and let her cry. The first night she cried for a while, maybe 30 minutes, but she did stop. She woke up twice that night, and I checked on her, kissed her, then left. The first time she cried for about 15 minutes, the second only about 5. The next night was better. And the next better than that. She has been going down for her naps really well now, not making us stay until she actually is asleep, and knock on wood, she has slept through the night without waking up and crying for the last 3 nights. And when I go in to get her when she is awake, she is just hanging out in her crib, playing with her toys and she smiles at me. Just like she used to. For the last 3 days I have gotten up for work, gotten my shower, gotten dressed, and gone in to get Sam and she has been happy and smiling.

Let’s hope that all of this was just a toddler trial and not an experience that we are going to see again. I know if she is sick, or teething, or something is truly going on, she will not sleep well. That, we can handle. That has a reason, an endpoint. I have found that this recent experience is one of the most frustrating for me as a mother. Not knowing how to “fix” what is going on. It makes me feel like I am doing something wrong, or not good enough. I know in my heart that isn’t true, but it is hard when you are in the moment. All you can do is try, try, try again and hope that you do the right thing. All part of being a mom.

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