Samantha's first blog

Posted By pamelamyers on January 11, 2013

Today we went to visit what will be Sam’s pre-school this coming September. We chose a place close to our home that has a great reputation from everyone I asked. It was a bittersweet day. It was exciting seeing the place where she will go to learn and grow and be such a big girl, but sad seeing the place that gives us evidence that she is not a baby anymore. I can’t believe my little girl will be in pre-school this fall. So soon after she starts, kindergarten will be right around the corner, then actual school. She will only be going for three 2.5 hour days at first, then the year after, five 2.5 hour days, then finally, when she goes to kindergarten, five half days. At this point, I think it is enough. Sam is still so attached to us, which I love, but I also know needs to change. She needs to be more independent, less afraid to be on her own. It is hard to let go of her. I am so proud of her growing up, but at the same time, since she is my only little one, I want her to stay just as she is for as long as she can.

We didn’t tell her where we were going until we got to the school. It is really right around the corner from our house, at St. Matthew’s Lutheran church, which is nice because it is within walking distance, but on today, we drove. Once we got there, she was very clingy, as I expected. She asked me to hold her almost the whole time. But I do think she liked seeing what the other kids were doing in class, and she definitely liked the playground. At one point, the director of the school had to speak to another parent, and Sam noticed the huge board where all the kids crafts were displayed. There was a wall of construction paper snowmen and she couldn’t stop talking about them. We explained to her that when she goes to the school she can do things like that too. She didn’t say much, but that in and of itself is a huge improvement over the last time I tried to talk to her about school. I mentioned, at the time, that she will love school and that she will do all kinds of crafts and I was promptly told that, “I can do crafts at my house.”

We stayed for about 45 minutes and tried to find out everything we could. The pre-school works closely with the kindergarten to make sure the kids are prepared, which is important to us and I think Mark and I had all of our questions answered. It was so cute seeing all the little ones doing their thing in class, but it was hard to imagine Sam standing there in the not to distant future. When we were done our tour and satisfied with what we saw we left and Sam was very quiet on the way home. I think she was trying to process what she had seen, and what it meant when we told her that it would be her school in the fall. It is hard for her to understand that she doesn’t have to go right now since I really think she doesn’t understand the concept of time in the sense of days, weeks, and months. But we did explain to her that she was going to go there, but not right now, just sometime soon, and she was ok.

Later in the night, Sam asked me if she could go and see her school again.  Hmmm.  Well, how about that? Maybe it won’t be so bad after all.  Yeah…right. Who am I kidding? The first few days are going to be horrible. The tears, the wailing, the anguish. Well, from me anyway. 🙂 But honestly, I am fully prepared that she is going to be a mess when we drop her off those first few days (hopefully, only days). She is never left with anyone other than family so it will be hard for her. But it is necessary too. The last question on the pre-school questionnaire asked what we hope she gets out of her pre-school experience. I answered in the best way I could. My hopes for her are that she learns, she makes friends, she becomes more independent, and that she is happy. That is all I ever wanted for my girl. And I will do whatever I have to to make sure it happens, despite a few tears, from either Sam or her mommy.

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