Samantha's first blog

Posted By pamelamyers on August 26, 2013

Sam has been acting out a bit lately, being really defiant and bossy. I am sure it is totally normal for her age, but it is infuriating for Mark and me. Last night she was really acting up and the last straw was when she was mimicking me. You know how kids do:

Me: Sam, get in here and clean up these toys!

Sam: No, you clean up these toys!

Oh, I don’t think so. I had just about had it and flipped out and told her she was punished, and that her punishment was that she was not allowed to watch TV the next day. We talked about it for a long time after that, about how it is disrespectful to me to imitate what I say like that and that although we have fun together and we are friends, more importantly, I am her Mommy and a grown-up and she has to do what I tell her to do. She told me that she can’t wait to be big like Mommy so she can be boss.  I told her, yes, when you are a Mommy and have a little girl or boy of your own, you can boss them around too.  Go for it.

I really do think she mostly understood why she was punished. Mostly. She apologized, and asked me if she could watch TV before bed. I told her no, and she very calmly told me, “Mommy…I am talking nicely…I am not yelling, I am being good…” and so on. I had a hard time making her understand that, yes, it was a very good thing that she was being respectful and nice, but she needed to understand that her actions have consequences. That maybe next time she wants to act out, she will remember, hmmm…maybe that is not a great idea because last time I wasn’t allowed to watch TV. I put her to bed really early and she fell right asleep.

This morning, I stuck to it even though she asked me a hundred bajillion times if she could watch TV. I kept telling her no, and that I had to stick by my word or when I tell her next time she is punished it won’t mean anything. Mark mentioned to me early today that this punishment is like punishment for me too and I agreed – I probably let her watch too much TV but wow, it is nice to get her to settle down and be quiet in front of one of her shows while I eat or something like that. But, I kept distracting her with other things and I have to say, she made it through the day with flying colors. She did ask me occasionally if she could watch TV but when I said no, there were no fits, no crying, no yelling, nothing. She was so very good. We accomplished so much – she played with a lot of her toys, and she even helped me wash my car. I didn’t even let her play with my Kindle, or my phone or any other electronic device, since I figured that was just about the same as TV.

I finally told her that if she kept being a good girl I would let her watch TV after dinner, since that would be a full 24 hours without TV.  I let her watch a show, and let her pick, and she picked Curious George, one of her current obsessions. Interestingly, she watched it and when it was over, that was it. She didn’t ask for more, she just went off and played. I was pretty impressed with my girl today. I think we both learned a few things. Maybe TV won’t be so important to her, and maybe I can turn off the tube more often. Wouldn’t that be something in this day and age?

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